Her Papa’s Wallet

Published May 28, 2011 by jay p laughlin

The discovery was accidental. We were at the chocolate shop to try a flight of chocolates from different regions of the world. I took ZK to the table while Jenni paid with my card. ZK, true to form in that “socks-are-the-coolest-toys” phase, was busy pulling her already slobbery moist socks off immediately after I put them on.

Jenni arrived at the table with a childlike excitement at our soon to occur chocolate expedition. “Oooo, they sound so good,” she said with her big doe-eyes. She sat down and placed the wallet on the table near me…and ZK.

My wallet is well-worn and soft leather but visually uninteresting…uninteresting to me, that is. To ZK, this wallet was another new adventure. Socks away, she picks up the wallet and takes a huge baby-bite.

Her initial reaction was equal parts “What-the-Fuck?” and “Oh, this…is…different!” This quickly transformed into a definitive “LIKE”nom-nom-nom-nom. What can I say? To this day I remember the taste of my leather baseball glove. Not that I ate it per se, it just had this tendancy to fall apart and I’d have to re-lace it and pull the laces taut with my teeth. If you’ve never experienced it I’ll save you the trouble (if you’re curious)…think Barnyard with a minute touch of honey. Not bad, right?

Nom Nom Nom

You think you like my wallet now, ZK?, I thought. Just wait until you are 4, not to mention in your tweens and teens. I solemnly swear that I will do my best, to do my duty, to hold at bay the idea of “magic money” cards concealed within my wallet. Somehow, I already doubt that my resolve will be strong enough to withstand the onslaught of your pleading eyes. ZK, you already play an unfair game. Anyway, time to get back to chocolate tasting….”how’s the Madagascar?”

In the middle of one of her chew frenzies, ZK cast a side-long glance at me (with a knowing half-smile) and a rising drum-roll of broken wind reverberated off of the solid wood tabletop. “Wicked!” I exclaimed as I proceeded to tickle her. ZK giggled, I laughed, Jenni tried not to laugh…and rolled her eyes. All of this, and ZK didn’t miss a “chew-beat,” so to speak.


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